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Posts Tagged ‘love’

 

At church we have been talking about how to love God like a child loves God.  Through a child’s eyes, there is such an innocence and an awe of God.  It seems as we get older, we become more cynical and less believing and trusting.  This series is making me want to think more like a child.

Then, while cleaning, I came across this.  It is  I’m sure right where God wanted it to be…so that I would see it and remember the thoughts I had when I found it almost 18 months ago.  I had actually started a blog to share with you about it….but never published it.  So….since God seems to be nudging me…..I’m going to share the sweet innocence of my daughter with you…..

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This is what I found in my car. I saw it and it was sealed. I left it there for a few days and then when no one had talked about it, I asked Breanna what it was. She says, “mail”. Kinda like…..”duh mom!” So I asked her if she needed me to mail it for her to which she promptly replied…”YES!”

I knew before I opened it that it was precious and I couldn’t wait to read it. I knew when she told me to mail it that I would open it and then date it and put it in her “box of stuff” so if you are reading this Breanna……..mommy is sorry!

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This is what I found. When I read it ……I cried. How simple. How true. What insight. She was only 8 when she wrote these words……and she GETS IT! She knows who meets her needs and that the “beast thang” that has ever happened in her life is GOD! (yes….we are from the south and I guess we talk like it since she sounded that out and spelled ‘best thing’ as “beast thang”!) I remember at 8 all I could think about was me…having fun…. nothing like she thinks. She is so insightful. She asks questions like… I know Jesus is building us a home in heaven… Will our houses be next to each other or will we just have a family house? Can we visit each other’s houses? I love the questions….the thought process.

I love to hear her prayers too….. Dear God….thank you for this day. Please dear God…just be with my friends and help them get along…..and put your healing hand on “such and such” because they haven’t been feeling too well lately. Thank you God for just loving me. And God….if you can today would you just be with my whole family and help us have a wonderful day and come together again tonight safely? Thanks God.”

It makes me wonder…… do we think like that? Do we think of Him as having his hand on everything in our life? Our health…our choices…..our finances…..our relationships? Do we honestly turn it all over to Him? I know I don’t. I know I like to think I do but honestly…..I don’t. I am a control freak! And I don’t know why but there is just something in me that thinks that if I don’t have my hands in the big, stinking middle of every situation…..it won’t turn out just quite right! Can I get an amen???? You know…..the times we’ve “given it to God” only to turn around a take it right back! Just because it seemed like He might be taking too long or that His answer wasn’t THE answer we were looking for!!!

Well….she gives it to Him. And she truly expects Him to handle it…even the little stuff. I remember once when I was out-of-state doing some work stuff. I called to tell the kids and Bryan goodnight and got to pray with my sweet girl on the phone. Her prayer was sweet and I am used to a lot of it by now….but at the end she said……, “And God, please be with my mom right now. Help her to not miss us so she can concentrate on her work and then come back to us and have some fun!”. Seriously….did she know I was in the middle of something….??? I was. And I needed EXACTLY what she was asking for. But…..SHE was the one asking for it…not me.

I know this is another proud mommy blog for some….but to me…in a way…it is a wake up call. I know that I am getting better at having more conversations with God throughout the day. But I don’t take to Him all my needs…my frustrations….or all of what is in my heart. Good or bad He knows it all…but the question here is……do I trust Him with all of it???

I think my little girl does. And for that…right now….she is my hero. ~c

 

 

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Last night we had a fabulous family Valentine’s Day.  We spent the evening just enjoying each other.  We made an easy, family friendly dinner and as we sat around the dinner table we were talking and sharing about our day.   I asked my son to share one reason why he loved his sister…then I asked her the same about her brother.  Then they started asking us about what we lo about each of them.  We spent a long time sharing reasons why we loved each other and just affirming each other.  I have to tell you…it did this momma’s heart good to hear my children share such fond, and touching reasons why they love each other!  Especially since that is NOT how they act all the time (or even most of the time!).

But when we had gone a couple of times each and my son asked his dad to share another reason why he loved my daughter….SHE replied, “Because we have the exact same nose!”.  We all BUSTED out laughing.  I had a mouth full of food and almost choked and then laughed so hard I was almost in tears!  This is so funny to me because I remember when I was pregnant with her…..my husband and I were having a conversation about what she might look like and he specifically said, “I think she will be beautiful!  I just pray she doesn’t come out with my nose!!”.  We all just had a good old fashioned belly laugh!  It was so good to be sitting around the dinner table sharing such joy and laughter with my family….DEFINITELY very high up there on the best Valentines memory list!

It was also last night that out of nowhere, my son’s heart showed itself in a huge way.  I have to say that it totally caught me off guard.  We were all bantering and talking and I was standing at the stove preparing dinner.  We were all in the kitchen and he ….. out of nowhere…… said, “So mom….is February 22nd the worst day of the year for you?”.  By the time he finished his question…he was standing behind me with his arms wrapped around me.  I looked over at my husband, with tears in my eyes, and just softly answered, “yes.”.  He just continued to hold me and he said, “I thought so. I’m sorry.”.  He gave me another squeeze and went on about his evening.  I, however, took a little longer to put myself back into the “happy” compartment.  It is times like this that remind me that I don’t have to go through this alone…I have a others to go through this with. Bryce loves me and his brothers….and is getting old enough to share my sorrow with me…..and that is huge!

So….I am thankful today for a blessed and wonderful Valentine’s Day.  I am thankful that I got to see more glimpses into my children’s hearts.  I am thankful that deep down, they really understand what love and family mean.  I am thankful that their daddy, loves them…and me…with all his heart.  I am just blessed.

Today I thank God that as I prepare and go through this next week…leading up to “the worst day of the year” for me….as my son so eloquently put it….I thank Him for the constant reminders…… that I am so blessed to still be here.  I am still needed on this earth. I am still in search for the purpose He would have me fulfill…….and that love runs deep in my home.  I am thankful that as we shared what we loved about each other …… each person’s heart and how tender and sweet …. was one of the first things shared.  I thank God for growing each of us…in His time.

I seek your prayers….for as strong as He is, I am weak.  This is a difficult time.  Joy is still present.  But so are memories that hurt very deeply.  For the next few weeks I can share with you so much about where we were and conversations we were having 15 years ago…..  This can sometimes comfort me…but also torment me. 

I know my God still, and always will, sit on the throne!  I know He will guide my path, as He always has, and strengthen me in this time.  I know all of this… but the pain is still very real and present.  Sometimes it seems it would be easier to just hole up….stop reaching out…and not go on.  That is why I need, I crave, nights like last night!  More blessings…more silver linings….to keep me moving forward ….. in order to fulfill my purpose and get me closer to my eternal Valentine’s celebration…where all our hearts and souls can reunite and rejoice together….forever!

Share love, joy and laughter with those around you.  You may never know how much they may need it!

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