Where to begin….
I had what most would consider the average life growing up. I did well in school. I was a dancer and on the pom squad in high school. Active and social..to say the least!
When I was in fifth grade my mother had breast cancer. This was the first time. The second would not be until 17 years later. But it was an impressionable time in my life….
At 16, I was pregnant. I was one of those girls with a steady boyfriend, in college…… So, we got married in December of my Junior year in high school and on the last day of my junior year….my first son was born! Cody Brian came into my life and made my heart melt!
Yes, I did graduate. But at graduation I was pregnant with my second son. Cory Matthew came into the world just 3 months after graduation and I didn’t think my heart could expand any more than it already had!
It was shortly after I had Cory that I met what turned out to be one of my best friends. She was an anchor for me and the one that introduced me to my Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ. This was the best decision I EVER made…to follow Him.
Then…at the ripe old age of 20, I had my third son, Caleb Harrison. Wow! I can’t describe how full my life was.
I adored being a mom. My boys were close in age and very active. Piano, scouts, basketball, soccer, baseball, church choir, church bells……and just overall BOYS! I loved every minute of it.
But as they got older, my relationship with their father continued to deteriorate. I filed for divorce and we went through a very painful, difficult period in our lives.
Then, 3 weeks after my divorce was final…. I received a call. I was out of town visiting my sister at her college apartment and the boys were with their dad. It was 5:15 am. The phone rang at my sister’s and when she answered she came and told me the call was for me. I said “Hello”….and on the other end it was my ex-husband. He started talking and I just got quiet….I let him just talk and he was saying all kinds of things. I honestly don’t know what all he said. But I do remember him telling me that someone was dead and I started asking him WHO? and trying to get him to make sense. Finally, he told me, “I just called to tell you I love you and that we are all dead.”. I heard a noise…… and then nothing. I couldn’t get the dial tone to come back. By this time my voice was so elevated my sister was in the room with me.
Finally, I was able to get a dial tone and I phoned my father. I told him about the call and that I just wasn’t sure what was going on….and asked him to dial 911 and ask the police to go over to the house to just check it out. In my mind I really didn’t know what it was……. but I remember telling him to promise me he wouldn’t go over there. He did. So I hung up…..
I couldn’t handle waiting any more so I started trying to call my ex back. The answering machine picked up. So I started calling friends and asking for prayer or seeing if they would call and he might answer for them.
So I waited some more….
The phone rang and my sister answered it. I remember sitting on her bed and searching her face as she spoke to our dad. She just sat there and nodded her head….”uh huh…..ok……ok……yes……here she is.” And she handed me the phone. When I got on..Daddy said to me, “Honey…the police just came over and they went to the house. Honey…………….they boys are gone.”
I said, “Oh good! Do they think they know where he took them?”. “No,” he said. “Honey he shot and killed the boys. And then that sound you heard….that was him shooting himself. But……… he is still alive…….”
I don’t remember any more conversation….or if I just dropped the phone. All I remember is going into a rage and yelling and screaming. I was hitting and throwing things. I do remember my sister’s boyfriend coming to me and holding my arms and telling me that if I needed to hit something to hit him. So I did. I pounded on his chest until I fell to the ground.
This is not the end….there is much more. Hopefully throughout this blog I can share so much more with you. Just know that it has been almost 14 years now since that day….and a lot of life has happened since then. I will tell more of the miracles I have seen. More of the grace I have been given. More of the peace I have felt…all since this day.
No, this is not the end of my story….in some ways, it is just the beginning of a new story.