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Posts Tagged ‘Comparing’

While perusing Facebook recently, I saw a post someone had made with a quote from one of my favorite pastors.

I’ll be honest….I saw it and thought…true…and then continued on with my scrolling.  But the next morning I had this same thought on my mind.  It is not only true…..but dangerous.  Especially with all the social media out there……

You see, as a blogger….as a speaker…..as a Facebook poster….I get to choose the parts of my life that I want you to see.  And most of the time…..we choose to only share the “good stuff”.  So much so… that the “real” in our lives is cloudy….almost like we are watching a soap opera unfold through social media…but this form just seems more acceptable.

I mean, we’ve been warned of the dangers of comparing our love lives with that of those on a soap opera….PUHLEASE….who lives like that anyway???  But have we been warned of social media content and what it is doing to us? I think it is a fair comparison!  We see the highlights of people’s lives…..the trips…the good times…..the perfect meals….the fun with friends…..the romantic getaways!!

My friend did a little beta test.  She “tweeted” once daily.  But one out of seven of her tweets were not all “peppy” or “upbeat”.  They weren’t doom and gloom either.  Just a general statement kinda like, “I’m just not feelin it today”.    Everyone FREAKED!  She said it was as if the world was ending because her post wasn’t all rosy!!  HMMMMMMM……interesting.

It made me think about what I allow others to see…through social media, blogging and the stories I share when I speak!  I get to choose what you see or know about me and my life….my feelings. It also made me think of statements my husband tells me others say to him about me…”How does she do it?” or “She is always smiling….does she ever have a bad day?”  HECK YES I have bad days……and sometimes they are just dark.

Take my birthday, for instance.

My birthday is just a few days before Christmas.  Now, don’t think I was all gloomy because I am another year older….NO….I am actually glad I made it through another year!  Age is really just a number of measure anyway!!  But this past birthday…… well…. it fell on the weekend before Christmas.  And my sweet daughter was singing in our church services… all 10 of them!  I had committed to be there for her for all of them and was excited to do so!  Well…. 3 were the evening of my birthday.  And….my sweet sister and her family were coming in on my birthday to spend that day and the holiday with us!  I love it when she comes to spend time with us!  Especially her whole family!!

BUT….

My birthday was also less than 10 days after the Sandy Hook massacre.  I was still in an emotional state because of that.  AND…..someone I’ve never met personally….but followed her family and their sweet daughter’s battle with a nasty disease….was preparing to say their final goodbyes to that sweet baby girl….and that was weighing heavy on my heart.

AND

I was preparing to spend Christmas eve with my sweet adopted grandbabies for the first time! These 3 angels now call me Mimi and their mom calls me momma….cuz her mom is no longer on this earth…. but she was my best friend……and I’m so thankful she allows me to be part of her life and her sweet kiddos.  And another sweet child, one of the boy’s best friends, who still calls me mom…is expecting twin babies in April with his wife…and again …..I’ll be Mimi to them.

So……

Needless to say….my emotions were everywhere!

On the morning of my birthday…..I woke up…..rolled over…….. buried my head in my husband’s chest……..and SOBBED!

I couldn’t stop.  I sobbed until I couldn’t breathe.

It NEVER goes away! It NEVER stops hurting! IT IS ALWAYS THERE!!!!! The pain of losing my boys….my mom…..is still a very present part of my life.

As happy as I was in that moment….at the very same moment I was so, overwhelmingly, sad! I just wanted to be a Mimi to my boy’s children! I wanted to share my sweet daughter’s performance with all FOUR of her brothers! I wanted to just hold them…….even one more time! I just hurt………

There are more of these moments than I care to share. But I share this to show you…..I am REAL.  I hurt. I cry. I downright sob.

But….. I have hope.  I guess that is what people see.  Because by that same evening ….. I WAS smiling! I was enjoying the time with my sister and loving listening to my sweet girl sing! I celebrated another year with my friends and family and was so thankful for all that I’ve had.

Yes….that includes the bad times.  I am at a placed where I am even thankful for those bad times……..Because that is part of what has shaped me into who I am today.

And today…..I am a strong woman of God who has hope through His son. I know through His promise that I am loved….I am enough….I am worth fighting for!

I may not always feel it….but I have come to realize emotions and feelings can lie.  The way I feel ….. isn’t always what is true! So…. at the end of the day……  stop comparing who you are with what you see on social media or hear about somebody else.  Stop comparing their highlights with your dark times.  Stop comparing at all!  Because…….. God made you an original….you are fearfully and wonderfully made……and no one else will ever “get you” the way that He does.  No one else will ever fight for you the way that He does!  You are HIS! You are exactly the way the creator of the universe designed you to be….faults and all! And in the end……….HE is the only one that really matters at all! And if HE says He loves you and will always be there for you……then what is stopping you?  If GOD is FOR us….then WHO can be against us????

So stop comparing! Start looking at you…….. through His eyes…….

I’m convinced if you do that…you will love what you see!

Do something beautiful this week!  YOU are a masterpiece!   ~c

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