If you go and look at my facebook page…today you’ll see I’ve changed my pictures. My cover photo is this….
And my profile pic is this….
These pics say a lot….about this month. You see…this month…I’m completely reminded about all five of these people and their roles in my life…
The boys…well that is obvious… This is Caleb’s birthday month…but there is hardly a pic of him alone..because he was the baby brother!! I miss them…a lot. I miss all they’ve missed out on…I’m reminded how much life I’ve lived they haven’t….and quite frankly..it just sucks.
Then…the one on the top is the boys…with mom. This month is her birthday. A day when I celebrate who she would be…. This birthday will be a big one…that just hit me about a week ago…but I will write more on that later.
Then the last one….is of Rhonda..and me. It’s a pic that says so much….it shows our love for each other…how happy we were when we were together…and how comfortable we were together. It was taken in another town…at my sister’s wedding. She traveled to be there…because she was family. She IS family. But…she has been gone now…for seven years…today. It stinks. It stinks all the times I’ve sat with her sweet girl in the rocking chair loving on her…and as much as I love it!!!….and I do….I know it should’ve been her. It stinks…when I’m loving on what I call “my” grandbabies…..and knowing they really and truly are hers….I’m just here by default. But…I know…had it been reversed…she would be doing the same for my kids…my grandkids…because that is what family does. It is what we did when she was here….so why would that stop now.
This past week…all I’ve been repeating in my head..in every situation…is “just be Jesus”…and “love like Jesus”. Rhonda…she was that for me. She showed me His love…pointed me in the direction of His kingdom! She was truly…the hands and feet of Christ to me…and I want to be nothing but that to her family.
If I…at any point and time…have touched your life…with my story or words….and pointed you…towards Christ….
Let me just say…You have this beautiful lady to thank. She started it…I’m just paying it forward!!
I miss…all five of these people. I miss them in a mighty way…and I’ve had old wounds creep up that were unexpected. God has worked with me through this….I’ll share more about that next….for another day.
Today…I’m just going to remember…to be thankful…and to “just be Jesus”…so all five of these people…will clap as Jesus says…”job well done”… because I know…they are cheering me on…even though…I can no longer physically feel it.. or hear it…I know it…in my heart…where it counts!
Love to you!! Just like Jesus!! ~c
My Life as a COMMA! 
I love you precious one! I’m so sorry for your loss. Praying for you as you sift through the emotions of your heart. Be kind to yourself. Thank you for reminding us to be Jesus, no matter what the situation looks like, Be Jesus. Love you!!!
Cheli, I have always thought of you as a strong and Christian woman. God has placed many experiences in your life that have brought many of us to tears. I still cry thinking about your sons. I have always prayed for you even if you didn’t know it. I think sometimes those are the most needed prayers. I still think of you as a powerful woman with a message of love and guidance to give so many people. Thank you for being such a special person to me growing up. I will let continue to keep you and your family in my prayers.
I’m there with you Cheli, I lost my daughter 16 years ago and my mom just last year.
Bereft is the only word that describes the tremendous amount of loss I feel.