This past week…I thought…was supposed to be better. Monday was my day off and to be honest…I was spent. The not sleeping and emotions of the previous two weeks had caught up to me. I spent a lot of the day in bed….just trying to rest my body and my mind.
But on this day….there were two new tragedies in the world that resonated with me. One, was the school shootings in Ohio. The other, was much closer to home, on many accounts. Here, where I live, there had been another family shattered by a double murder/suicide. A young couple….not even 30 yet…and their one year old daughter were all gone…….
I want to SCREAM!!!! This is ridiculous! This should NOT keep happening!! This is NOT OKAY!!!!!
When, did we begin to think that if everything doesn’t go our way………….well, then I’ll just kill myself…AND those around me???? WHEN? What is happening here??
I really want to tell these people those babies are not “yours”. They are not possessions you can take with you. Just because things aren’t good here on this earth for you…. does NOT mean you can take these children with you. Children are NOT possessions!
They are gifts.
Gifts from God to have for a little while. There are no promises they will be here until after we are gone. We aren’t promised a tomorrow with anyone here on this earth. Only He knows how longs these gifts will last. Only He knows if these gifts will outlive us and live a long life.
These gifts are not possessions. Just as you can’t take possessions with you when you die….not the clothes on your back …. or the car in your garage. You also can’t….and definitely don’t have the RIGHT….to choose to take these children with you if you choose to kill yourself!!!
Less than two weeks after my children died…..I received a call from my ex-husband’s great-grandmother. Great Gran told me that she had no idea that we had marital problems. She was so sad to see me not come around any more. She didn’t know what happened…..and said she really didn’t care. She said she did have one question though. So….I waited. She said, “Cheli, why didn’t he just do this to himself and just leave those boys alone?”. How I wish I had an answer for her. I just cried. She got it. It didn’t matter what had happened…..if this was his choice…..he only should have chosen this for himself….not anyone else.
Let me say…..I KNOW that this is not how everyone thinks. But what I am most bothered about is that not only is it happening more and more around us….. It seems as if people are almost not shocked when it happens. There are more comments about someone in the public eye passing away (of natural causes) than that of innocent children being violently taken from this world!!! There is something wrong with this picture!
My heart breaks for the families that are left to deal with these tragedies. For all involved…there is no resolve. There really is no way they can begin to understand WHY this has happened. There is no way to comprehend just what was going through these people’s minds that made them feel so hopeless…..or so much hate….or so much rage….or despair. We will just never know.
Why?
Why would something like this happen?
Why would God allow this?
If you are looking for these answers….I’m not sure if I can help you.
I don’t, specifically, know why. But I do know this……
Just as I’ve told my children and other friends….. We don’t ever want to truly understand why….. or what they were thinking when they committed these crimes. The media wants to delve in and find out all this information…..I say leave it be. Here is my thinking. If we understand what they were thinking and why they did it….then on some level…that means we could think like them…..and we don’t ever want to be able to do that! I want it to remain unfathomable to me how someone could take the life of another human being……especially that of a child. I want it to be a shock when I hear of a tragedy like this…because I don’t ever want to understand how this could happen.
And…I also know this. That I may not ever understand WHY God allows these things to happen. I know, in the past fifteen years, I have seen such blessings that have occurred from something very directly, or even indirectly, related to my children’s deaths. This is difficult. But also a blessing to me.
I also know that in the bible….I have never been able to find where He has promised me a “Very full of everything wonderful and nothing difficult, always smiling because everything is perfect life”. Nope. Not anywhere did I find this. I find so many places that share that I should rejoice in my sufferings and give thanks for trials. Hmmmm….sounds to me like He knew life wouldn’t be easy.
You see, if you believe that God is an all-knowing, omnipotent God………then you have to belive that before He even gifted me with my boys…..He not only knew the day they would be born….AND …..the day they would die. He also knew how they would die.
I also know God will use their story for HIS good. He will use their lives for His glory. I thought, for some time that……when I do enter His kingdom and get to see Him on His throne….I can finally ask him just that….. WHY????????
But you know what? The longer I continue to live……and the more I yearn to be there….the more I realize………….
By the time I get there……it really isn’t going to matter any more. The “Why did this happen?” will no longer be important to me. Because, I will be there. I will be with my Lord…..AND my children. So……if it isn’t going to matter then…….WHY should it concern me now? For now…I’ll just continue to live my life……..trying to find the purpose of WHY…..I am still here.
Maybe it is to share their story. To offer hope to others………. Whatever it is…….I’m here…..
❤ ~c
My Life as a COMMA! 
Dear Cheli,
I have been urged by the Lord to give this message to you. This is not meant in any way as a joke, which would be very cruel. I wanted to email you privately but maybe it’s better this way because other people can read this message and maybe awaken to His coming.
The Rapture of the Bride of Christ is about to happen very, very soon. The Bride will be taken up to Heaven while sudden destruction will fall upon the Earth. I know with all of my heart that you and your family will be taken up to Heaven. Our Heavenly Father, Our Savior Jesus, and the Holy Spirit are urging me too tell you this. I didn’t want to write to you because I didn’t want you to think I was weird. I am Not a follower of Harold Camping, lol. But I do believe the Rapture is fast approaching. I felt that God was screaming at me to write this to you and does not care if I look like an idiot while doing so.
God’s Timepiece is Israel. Keep your eyes on Israel because war is about to break out. Isaiah 17 is about to be fulfilled. Christ could come and break through the clouds for His Bride at any moment now. He is telling everyone in the Bride to “Stay ready”. It just makes me so happy to know that you will be reunited with your children very SOON! I promise that you will not have to wait much longer.
So many people in the Bride have been given confirmations by God that the Rapture is indeed imminent. I will give you the names of a couple of those people at the end of this letter.
Jesus loves everyone and He doesn’t want anyone left behind. If this message reaches one person who may not yet know Christ, it is worth posting. The ABC plan of Salvation is perfect because it is so simple to understand:
A: Admit you are a sinner and repent of your sins
B: Believe Jesus died for your sins and purchased for you eternal life
C: Confess Jesus as Lord of your life
The most important thing is to develop a personal relationship with Jesus.
Cheli, you have suffered your own Tribulation these past 15 years. I cannot fathom everything you have gone through. You are an incredible woman and I want you to know that your “And they all lived happily ever after” is right around the corner. Get excited because we are going Home very soon!! No more death or any kind of pain or suffering- just pure and total peace and happiness Forever!
Take this message to the Lord. I understand if you don’t believe this but He will give you confirmations as to whether this is true or not. I pray that this message awakens everyone who reads it.
God Bless~ We are soon going Home +
Cheli my heart hurts for you. Praying for your peace. Have missed seeing you. Love you pretty lady!
Your friend in Christ,
Aileen Gee
You hit the nail on the head Cheli. When we do get to Heaven, basking in the Glory of God, those questions won’t matter.