My Life as a COMMA!

It has been a few days!  I am so sorry…I have been a busy bee!  I will share why at another date!

I want to share with you what happened on Friday night.  My daughter is quite the little family girl.  She loves her friends and all…..but she loves some family time.  Well, her brother went home with a friend after school and we got a call late in the evening and allowed him to spend the night.  Sometimes we get the….”that’s not faaaaaaiiiiiiiiir!”   But fortunately, this was not one of those nights!

One of Breanna’s FAVORITE things is to snuggle on the couch and just watch a movie.  All lights must be turned out.  The ottoman has to be in front of the couch…and of course……there MUST be popcorn!  Well…..needless to say…dad and I were both more than a little tired and we were going to be getting a late start to this movie.  She says, “It’s ok, mom and dad, I don’t mind if you fall asleep.  I know how to turn the movie and TV off by myself!  I AM a big girl, you know!!!  I just want us all to be together!”  Well…..I ask…….how can you argue with that logic???  Of course, I couldn’t.  So she was off to pick out a movie.  The movie she chose……Matilda.  VHS….don’t remember where it came from….but that was our movie.

I did make it through without falling asleep.  Then, after the glorious film….(do you sense the sarcasm?) we all went to bed.  Of course….while Bryan was getting ready for bed and I was already in bed…sis came and crawled up beside me.   She grinned and kissed all over my face and said that since bubba was getting to spend the night with his friend…..she wanted to spend the night with me. ….  just us girls! =)  And again….I ask…..how do you say no to that?  So…..Bryan slept in Bryce’s bed and Breanna and I snuggled in.  And I DO mean snuggled!  I hugged her and we whispered and talked.  I loved every moment of it.

But I have to admit my favorite part was when I woke up on Saturday morning.  This old body has set its alarm clock for way earlier than I would like to admit……  anyway…..  I woke up and turned over to this long, lanky girl laying in my bed.  When did this happen?  How is it that she is so long?

My sweet angel baby

This is where my mind took me back to.  This is her on the day my nephew was born.  She was 4 weeks and 1 day old.  We had shared a bed in a hotel for a few hours after he was born.  This is just before I woke her up and had to drive her back to a pediatric cardiologist to make sure that the small hole in her heart had closed properly.  (and it had)  But this is my baby girl.  These are some memories I have of her!

And now…she is growing up.  I lie there just looking at her.  Sad that the time has gone by so quickly but relishing the moment to just look at her and memorize her face.   Sometimes, when I am sad, I am able to look at her….and her brother…and thank God for them.  They are 2 of the largest parts of my silver lining.  I can’t play the what if game……not with my life or theirs.  I have gone there a few times…..”what if they boys were still here…would I have these children?” …… or …..” what if I had stopped after my two miscarriages? I wouldn’t have this baby girl now…..”    It just isn’t ok to go there.  I just try to be thankful for it all.  To be thankful for all my children.  To be thankful for what I’ve had in the past as well as what I have today.  Thankful that for now….my baby girl…still thinks it is “cool” to have a sleepover with her mom!

Don’t give up in the midst of great loss, disappointment, or failure, or you will miss the greatest miracle in your life.  If you praise God through it, you will see the birth of something new and good that would never have happened if this tragic thing had not occurred.

Momma's girl!!!

Be blessed today…..for you are a blessing to someone!  ~c